Dear Ethan,

I’ve heard that mother has the sole power to control what kind of girl their son choses as his girl friend or even wife. Some crazy mother from your father’s side of the family had threatened to kill herself just because her son wanted to marry a Hispanic girl. She probably didn’t think her son could handle the hotness. Or she herself can’t live with that. Eventually he didn’t marry that Hispanic girl.

All mothers are crazy. They just don’t know. I know clearly that I AM CRAZY! I will start to brainwash you into picking the type of girl I WANT! And your cousin Pheona is the one!

She’s been helping us to look after you. And I can’t stress enough how relieved I feel when you are in her good hands, because she’s a normal human being, unlike your grandpa, who would dangle you over our sundeck 20 feet from the floor to touch that clinging wind chime. I almost had a heart attack. Pheona never does that. She’s patient, calm, pleasant and reasonable. Without anyone telling me, I know she loves you, because it shows on your face. And when you are cranky, she reasons with you. I don’t know how she does that, but YOU LISTEN TO HER ALL THE TIME.

I also love her for the fact that she doesn’t seem to hate anybody. And the way she loves everyone in the family is unbelievable. I met her when she’s still a teenage, that’s how horrendously long your father and I had been dating for. And even as a teenage girl who could be nothing but self-centered and troubled, she was never a headache to her parents. I always think her mother is lucky to have a daughter like Pheona.

I’m glad that you have her in your life growing up. A sweet, pretty and special girl.