Dear Ethan,

We’ve decided not to buy you any clothes from now on, cause you are going to wear this for the rest of your life.

Why? Trust me, Ethan, whenever you put this on, the world will rotate the way you like: the lady on your first date will marry you,  Harvard will take you, all teams against Canucks will lose……

And most importantly, you will get as much candies as I WANT!!!!!

Love,
Mommy